Episode 74: Executive Functions and Menopause
Confusion and Executive Functioning
In this episode of 'The Executive Function Brain Trainer Podcast,' hosts Darius Namdaran and Dr. Erica Warren explore into the power of habits and innovative tools for enhancing executive function and learning. They discussed the formation and benefits of habits, especially for individuals with dyslexia and ADHD, and introduce iVVi, a groundbreaking app for visual note-taking. The episode also covers key strategies like utilizing visual and auditory cues, balancing structured routines with creativity, and employing the 'Four Ts' - Techniques, Technology, Time, and Together - to simplify and enrich the learning process.
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Erica: Welcome to the Personal Brain trainer podcast. I'm Dr. Erica Warren.
Darius: And I'm Darius Namdaran, and we're your hosts. Join us on an adventure to translate the scientific jargon and brain research into simple metaphors and explanations for everyday life. We explore executive function and learning strategies that help turbocharge the mind.
Erica: Come learn to steer around the invisible barriers so that you can achieve your goals. This podcast is ideal for parents, educators, and learners of all ages.
Darius: This podcast is Sponsored by Dyslexia Productivity Coaching.com we give you a simple productivity system for your Apple devices that harnesses the creativity that comes with your dyslexia.
Erica: This podcast is brought to you by GoodsensoryLearning.com where you can find educational and occupational therapy lessons and remedial materials that bring delight to learning. Finally, you can find Dr. Warren's many courses at, learningspecialistcourses.com come check out our newest course on developing executive functions and study strategies.
Darius: Hi, Erica. What have we got on the docket today?
Erica: Well, it kind of hit me because I had a friend reach out to me and ask me about this, and I thought, my goodness, this would be a phenomenal topic for today. Let's talk about menopause and executive functions.
Darius: Brilliant. Yeah, yeah, I think it's great. Let's do it.
Erica: Well, you know, I think this is a very significant phase for women. And to give you the female perspective, at least from USA, I think I'm speaking for use. I know I'm speaking for a lot of friends, that this is something that's not ever discussed. It kind of happens, and then you're like, oh, my. What's this? Oh, I think I've heard about this. Hot flashes. Okay, okay. All right. I stopped my period and, okay, some things are going to change a little bit, but I had no idea what I was in for. So I went through it in my early 50s, and, yeah, it was really quite unpleasant, but I felt very alone. It's not something that I really talked about with people very much, if at all. I was just kind of stumbling through it myself and just thought, okay, it's just a stage. I'll get through it. And I was amazed at how it impacted the brain, the body, focus, memory, planning. Right. It affected a lot of executive functions, emotional regulation. It's difficult for me to know exactly how it impacted me because I also had Lyme disease at the same time. I think it kind of magnified it in some ways and masked it in Some ways. But, yeah, it's interesting. You're starting a whole new stage of life. In some ways, it almost felt like I was a little girl again. You know, I can't say that I missed the experience of having my period every month. That was like, hallelujah. I loved that. But, yeah, it was kind of a rocky road to get through it. Yeah, it'd be very interesting to talk about it because it's not talked about enough and how it really does impact executive functions. What are your thoughts?
Darius: Well, obviously, I'm not a woman, and what have I got to bring to this conversation? I suppose what I've got to bring to this conversation is the experience of my clients and the people that I speak to as part of the Dyslexia Explored podcast that I do. And also, doing executive function coaching for people with dyslexia and adhd. And a lot of them have come to me and said, look, Darius, we reckon there's this correlation between, you know, when you go into the menopause, it seems to make, if you've got mild to moderate dyslexia start to become moderate to extreme or mild to moderate, ADHD suddenly becomes moderate to extreme. And is this, a researched phenomenon? Is this something that you're seeing with other people that you're meeting and so on, because they're not in the, in the sort of, that kind of network all the time. And in the dyslexia show, when we, over last year, we were talking about this a lot, that menopause seems to be co-occurring with a lot of women's realization that they've got a neurodivergence. And I think that seems to be a, a theme that's emerging. So if you had autism, you, start to discover it during that
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Darius: menopausal period or dyslexia or adhd. And I think that there's some element of the menopause that amplifies these underlying challenges that you might be having. And I suspect a lot of women have been using their executive functions to compensate for processing issues or ADHD issues or masking with autism or whatever. And then once that capacity for executive functions, the brain fog starts kicking in and the hormones start to affect your mental capacities and shift them. Your coping strategies that you realize you were using for maybe some underlying challenges start to get pulled away and you start realizing, hey, what are these challenges that I've got? So you could say it's not the menopause that's per se causing it, but it's this Co-occurrence of them happening at the same time. So it's interesting to see that. I think there's a relationship between the two.
Erica: Yeah, well we know that stress. I know that I can definitely speak for myself, and I can speak for other people I've observed this with. When we're under stress, we don't have as much access to our compensatory strategies, many of which have become automatic. So if I'm under an enormous amount of stress, then yeah, my dyslexic self tends to come out. I might trip over my words, I might misuse a couple words, I might not be able to access the right word. Or you're just not feeling as confident, or you can't necessarily access what you normally can access. So I think that menopause is a stress on the body. Any kind of change is stressful and requires a lot of shifts. But yeah, I think just to express this because not everybody understands this. As I was saying earlier that it normally hits between the ages of 45 and 55, although I've known of people that hit it earlier and have known of people that hit it later. And basically it has to do with hormonal shifts, particularly in the decrease of estrogen and progesterone. And it really kind of starts with a lot of physical symptoms like hot flashes. Oh my goodness, those are intense. You know, you'll just be talking to somebody and all of a sudden, your pores open and you're soaking wet, and you really do feel hot as well. Like you just have to, like you want to just take off your clothes. I mean I can remember in the beginning it was like, all right, be in the middle of sleeping, in the middle of the night, I'd have to take off all my clothes and then I'd have to put them all back on again. So you're going from hot to cold, hot to cold. And a lot of sleep disturbances too, a lot of people experience. But research does show that it also affects the brain. So things like remembering details, multitasking and regulating emotions are probably the three top.
Darius: I would probably say. What do you think about this? Right?
Darius: Just from observations, I think it really affects your working memory first off. So the moment your working memory gets compromised, it's like a domino that starts to hit all sorts of other systems. So your working memory is like the doorway into your mind. It's the entrance way of information in. And if you're not filtering that information well then it either has a throttling effect on information coming through and We've talked a lot about the effects of working memory and I think like I see this in my wife for example, she's you know, experienced this and there, there's moments where she's trying to word find or you can see that her working memories overfold and she's hit capacity. But what's interesting with her is I'm used to that. And she starts saying to herself, saying I'm acting like I'm dyslexic, you know, like, because she knows with me and the children how we behave when our working memories get full, and she's got enough self-awareness to go. This is her working memories overfilled. But for her what's surprising is that she knows what it's like to have a big working memory.
Erica: Right, right, right. Well but I have to say that.
Darius: I don't frustrated seeing the difference.
Erica: I don't necessarily think that it's always about the size of your working memory because part of working memory is being able to dip into long term memory and access words or memories. And for me I think it was more of an issue that,
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Erica: not that my working memory got smaller, maybe somewhat, but that I had trouble dipping into long term memory more.
Darius: So here's what I'm thinking is I don't think your working memory gets smaller. Okay. But I think your working memory gets overloaded.
Erica: Right.
Darius: So your capacity gets smaller. So it's kind of like saying you've got a car, yeah, it's got seven seats in the car. But when you get emotional, and the seven seats represent the seven units of your working memory to transport information to your short-term memory or to the tip. It's either, you know, that's kind of like your working memory is the filter. Am I going to keep this or am I going to bin this? And if I'm going to keep it, I put it somewhere safe. Now some people have a two-seater car, three-seater car, four-seater car, seven-seater car. Okay. But I think sometimes when you're getting emotional or you've got something really important on your mind that you're stressed about, it occupies a unit of your working memory, for example.
Erica: Sure.
Darius: And it displaces, it just holds that space. You've still got seven seats in the car, but there's a two or three of them.
Erica: Right.
Darius: Ball. Do you know what I mean?
Erica: So yeah, yeah, I do know what you mean.
Darius: Your working capacity. Do you get my drift?
Erica: Well, yes. And it's funny because you know, they often refer to some of these executive Functioning difficulties as brain fog.
Darius: Yes.
Erica: Right. So it's. And you can almost think of it as like a fog in your car. It's just a harder, a little bit harder to navigate the car because you can't see as clearly. But, yeah, the brain fog usually results in memory issues, focus, issues and the ability to plan. And there was actually a study done in 2017 from the journal of Women's Health, and what they found was that 60% of women experienced some cognitive changes during menopause. And many of them reported it as, quote, unquote, brain fog.
Darius: Yes, I think that's the main emphasis of this podcast, isn't it? It's that the menopause doesn't just affect you physically, it affects you mentally.
Erica: Yeah.
Darius: Your point is, just to hammer it through, is that we do talk a lot about the physical effects of menopause, you know, the hot flashes and all that kind of jazz and so on, but very rarely do we talk about the mental effects. And I think when I did this podcast with, a pair of women on the Dyslexia Explorer podcast, where we talked about hormones and dyslexia, one of the things that they mentioned was this is not just a menopause issue, it's a hormone issue.
Erica: That's right.
Darius: And the menopause kind of shows it in its extreme, but actually you still have these sorts of cognitive changes within your months, and so how your executive functions work during the months also gets affected by your hormones.
Erica: Right, that's true. So why don't we talk a little bit about what exactly happens to executive functions during menopause? So estrogen is known to play a significant role in cognitive processes because it impacts neurotransmitters in the brain, especially acetylcholine and dopamine, which are critical for attention, memory and mood regulation. And then when these estrogen levels drop, these neurotransmitter systems become less efficient. And this is what contributes to the difficulties in working memory. So forgetting tasks or losing track of information, maybe even in the middle of a conversation, impaired focus, such as struggling to maintain attention on tasks, or poor planning and organization, which is finding it more challenging to break down tasks and complete them. Yeah. What are your thoughts on that?
Darius: Well, for a very British perspective of it, UK perspective, it actually can be classed as a disability.
Erica: Wow.
Darius: For a period of time. So according to the disability regulations in the UK, if you have a medical condition that affects your day to day working of day-to-day tasks that last longer than six months and affects it, it can be classed as a disability and it needs accommodation. Okay. Now the reason why I'm saying that is a number of the women that I work with, they are getting access to work, grant funding from the government for
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Darius: maybe ADHD amplified by the menopause, or dyslexia amplified by the menopause. And they talk about the menopause when they're explaining their challenges, because these are real effects that really affect their work. And during that sort of period of time where things stabilize and you get into a, new normal, that can be, I don't know, I've not been through it myself. I've seen my wife go through it, but she went through stage four cancer, and it came about as a result of the stem cell transplant which did a crash menopause for her. We should get her on sometime. I want to talk to you about that, but, you know, she's very open about it, but it was horrible going through a crash menopause. But, you know, it can be 2, 3. How many years? 2, 3, 4 years before it stabilizes. How long does it normally take, Erica?
Erica: Yeah, I think some people get through in about a year. I think for me, because I also had Lyme's disease the same time, it was more like five years, I would say it's just in the last, maybe even longer, because it's just in the last year or so that really, the hot flashes mellowed out a bit. And so, so it's always when you have some, something else going along at the same time, it's really difficult. I think that, you know, it just makes it that much harder for the body to adjust. We've been talking a lot about establishing new habits and such. I think, you know, when your body's overtaxed with too much, it just takes that much longer to establish a new normal, a new habit. And that's ultimately what it's all about, is that all of a sudden, your body is different, and you have to catch up to that difference and digest it and embrace it. And it just takes a little bit longer for some, I guess, than others. But I would imagine if that's all you went through that for the vast majority of people, it's a little bit faster, probably closer to a year.
Darius: So what I think is like, where this becomes more relevant, maybe with this podcast, is that a lot of people listening to the podcast might be neurodivergent, think differently, etc. Their children are thinking differently. They're thinking differently. They're wondering how they're thinking differently. Adhd, dyslexia, dyspraxia, autism, whatever it is, whatever combination as well. I think all of these are affected by hormonal changes. Ah.
Erica: totally.
Darius: And so your body is changing, but I think you've also got to recognize that your mind is changing as well.
Erica: Sure, sure.
Darius: And how do you deal with those changes of your mind? You know, how do you deal with that change of estrogen? So I think that's probably one of the biggest things, you know, when your body is doing a hot, flash, flush, whatever you call it. Have, I got it right? Flash or flush.
Erica: Hot. Flash.
Darius: Flash.
Erica: It's a flash of heat. Yes.
Darius: Yeah. Hot flash. And in a way, your brain's doing that sometimes, too, but it's not as extreme. Do you know what I mean? You don't feel it with. In the same kind of way, but it's maybe dropping out, etc., you know, what scenarios. And, so the big question, I suppose, what would you. What do you think these scientists would categorize brain fog as? So the recipients of the research are describing it as brain fog. But what do you think the scientists are interpreting brain fog back into executive functions as?
Erica: well, I think what's fascinating about this is that this is a lesson to all of us that hormones have an impact on our body and our brains, a significant impact. And I know that transgender people often will take hormones and such, and I imagine that they must go through a lot of physical and cognitive turmoil before they reach some level of homeostasis where they can kind of regroup and, you know, feel normal, even if it's a new normal again. But just so people know that, because there is not this kind of outward support, it's nice to talk about this and just warn people that this is coming, that it's okay, that this. These are some of the symptoms you might experience, that there is support out there. If you go online, there's quite a lot of support. There's the Menopause Society that used to be formerly the North American Menopause Society. I discovered a website called Amada
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Erica: Life, which was really helpful. They offer creams and such that have hormones in them. And I didn't have a great experience with that, but a lot of their other resources were really helpful. They even offer some free videos. What really made a difference for me are just their face creams. My face was always getting kind of dry and starting to age, and I found that a lot of their creams that I use on my body and my face were fantastic. And really brought some youth back. So there. There definitely is a lot of support out there, but you have to search for it. You know, if you search for it, there's quite a bit. But anyway, I thought it might be fun for us to talk about some strategies to support executive functioning during menopause.
Darius: Okay, let's do it.
Erica: Because it's very easy to get frustrated when these changes happen. But there are definitely things that we can do to boost executive functions during menopause. The first thing is cognitive training, which I'm a huge fan of. And studies have shown that engaging and targeted brain exercises really do enhance executive functions. And in 2021, there was a study done in the Menopause Journal that found that cognitive training in postmenopausal women led to improvements in memory and planning. And this is anything from brain games, puzzles. I think the biggest thing is learning some new things. Things. I think anytime you're doing the same thing over and over again, you don't have nearly as many cognitive gains as if you're trying new games. So finding some new ones to do is really important because what it does is it helps to establish and to create new neural connections and then also strengthen skills. A, second thing that you can do is mindfulness and meditation. So I find that the older I get, the more open I am to this. And I love how it creates space and slows my day down and also helps me really embrace patience, which is something, when you're going through menopause is really important because there is a certain amount of angst that most women feel when they're going through it. And having something that can help to relax the nervous system is amazing. So it's. It's known to. To reduce stress and improve attention. And there was research published in the Frontiers of Human neuroscience, and that showed that mindfulness increased cognitive flexibility, allowing the brain to adapt better to change. Which I love that. Right. Because what is cognitive flexibility? It's all about adapting to change. And this is really beneficial during menopause when stress and emotional dysregulation can worsen. A third option is hormone replacement therapy. A lot of people swear by this. I didn't like it. What happened for me is when I tried it, it just increased the hot flashes. And that did not work for me. The abbreviation is HRT. So HRT may offer cognitive benefits. And there was some research done. let's see. The nature of aging. I'm not sure if that's a journal or a magazine, but it suggests that estrogen therapy may have protective effects on the brain and could reduce the risk of cognitive decline.
Darius: Is HRT mostly estrogen, the hormone replacement therapy? Is it giving you the same amount of hormones as you would have if you were on your period? Is that the idea?
Erica: It's replacement therapy. I mean, you know, the idea is to work with somebody and see they can take levels and play with it. So I imagine some people might use the same levels that they had prior. Other people wouldn't. I personally couldn't tolerate any. It just didn't work for my system. And they have it as pills, they have it as creams. There are all sorts of. So even if you can't tolerate the pills, some people like to use the creams. So there are definitely a bunch of options. And then there are lifestyle adjustments. So physical exercise is so important. You know, the body definitely changes big time when the hormones change and you're no longer getting your period. And I find that physical exercise is vital. Stretching, weight training. I do a lot of walking, which is much easier. It's not as hard on the system. But also having a balanced diet, that's rich in omega 3s and antioxidants, and that can really help with sleep as well. And a Harvard Medical School article
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Erica: explains how these healthy habits are essential to maintaining these cognitive functions as we age. So, yeah, it's funny, when people say, oh, I'm going to retire, a lot of people just think, oh, all right, I don't have to go to work anymore. I don't have to exercise anymore. And that's how we die. So, in fact, what's most important as we get older is that we're that much more mindful of what we eat. We're that much more mindful of exercise. We're that much more mindful of being mindful and taking those times to meditate and take naps where we need to so that we can really optimize our potential as we grow older.
Darius: Right.
Erica: M. So we can also talk about some practical applications to daily life.
Darius: I think that's a really big one. I mean, what. What I've observed, okay, obviously I've not been through menopause, and I'm just looking at it from the outside. But what I've observed is that there's a number of women who have been used to being able to just do stuff in their head or just do stuff automatically or just, you know, organize their time, their calendar, their schedule. They. It's very rare for them to drop the ball to forget something and so on. And so their sort of infrastructure of systems round about them, matches their capability to do that, you know, but then suddenly they start dropping the ball and they're like, oh, my goodness, I forgot about that appointment. Or I. I've forgotten some key words, people's names, you know, things that are just so obvious and effortless for them before this can happen. If you've got long Covid as well, for example, you know, this is not just exclusive to menopause, but when these sort of body systems start to affect your executive function systems, your mind in the way it gets stuff done, this all kind of falls under the whole brain fog umbrella. You know, brain fog is basically, I'm having executive function difficulties. That's the bottom line.
Erica: It is, it is.
Darius: which is kind of what I was asking you. But, you know, I. I'll answer my question. Which is, what is brain fog? Brain fog is executive function difficulties. That's it. And if you're having executive function difficulties, it will be somewhere within the realm of working memory inhibitor control and cognitive flexibility. Or the combination of them. Metacognition. Okay.
Erica: Or higher-level executive functions.
Darius: Higher level executive functions. Yes. Yeah, I said metacognition, but yes, higher level. So where was I going with all of that? Erica, remind me. Oh, yes, that's it. I was having a dyslexia moment there and. And modeling.
Erica: You're having a menopause moment. A manopause moment.
Darius: Oh, my goodness.
Erica: They should call it womanopause. Why do they call it menopause?
Darius: It's not manopause, it's menopause.
Erica: I know, but there's still men. It should be womanopause.
Darius: Well, nothing to do with men.
Erica: I. Well, I just. Still, it's kind of interesting that starts off with men.
Darius: M. it's related to menstruation and all the rest of it.
Erica: Men, straight. Yeah, it should be womanistration. Well, anyway, it's a silly thought, but go on.
Darius: I wonder what the entomology of menstruation is. Why don't we Google it? But so, yeah, back to the point. So you start dropping the ball, okay. And so you think, what do I do to stop dropping the ball? Well, what you do is what everyone else with executive functioning difficulty does, which is what we've been talking about, which is different strategies. Take notes, make maps, set reminders, you know, like practical strategies to sort of delegate that job that you are doing inside your mind, do it outside of your mind. So it's also quite liberating, actually. It doesn't mean it's going to limit your mental capacities at all. It doesn't mean it's going to limit, affect your intelligence, your IQ or your capability. It could be actually enhance you. Because what happens is you start using tools that you decided I don't really need it, it's not really worth my while to learn that tool. But once you learn that tool, it actually amplifies your abilities.
Erica: Yes. Yeah, I agree with you. I think you know external tools and if you want you can have paper-based ones where you get a planner, daily reminders or journals or you
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Erica: can go technology where you could get note taking apps. You're creating Ivey, which is a mind mapping app, which is, and note taking app which is amazing. But no, there's all, there's so many. There's a plethora of digital tools. Asana Trello, there's a huge list that can help you. Are there any particular that you like? I mean we both like Apple Notes.
Darius: Well, yeah, I think if there's a minimum wish list. Okay. If I went through the minimum wish list. So the first thing is you need to get a good phone, okay? If your phone's out of date, get a new one, okay? If it's five, six, seven years old and it's causing you problems, you do not need that level of friction in your life. Just go out and get an upgrade. You deserve it. It's time, okay? Because your phone starts to become like an externalization of your mind. You know, you can delegate things to your phone number one, phone number two, computer. Get a computer that works, okay? And I'm sorry I'm covering the basics, but some of you listening would be going, oh my God, yes. It's just driving me bonkers. You've got enough friction in your mind and your life at the moment without adding to that by having technical difficulties with an Apple MacBook Pro 2015, that the operating system is out of date now. And, and you can't run Google Chrome on it now because it's not secure and stupid things like that, that all of a sudden at a crucial moment where you've got to download a bit of software for your work or whatever, it just hits you and you're not feeling so good at that point. You've not got that resilience. Get that out of your life. Get a decent phone, get a decent computer. Okay?
Erica: And I'm going to interrupt really quickly and I'm going to say you're worth it. Yeah, yeah, you're worth it. These are very important Things that you really shouldn't go without, you shouldn't be struggling. And you will be so much more efficient, and you will have so much more time, and your executive functioning will improve also because you won't be putting yourself under so much stress. So you're worth it. Update whatever you need to update with your technology so that things can run smoothly.
Darius: Yeah. Doesn't need to be completely brand new. You can buy it secondhand, two years old on eBay, refactored, you know, cleaned up or whatever, you know, but it's got to be a couple of years old. You need that right now.
Erica: Another good place is called Back Market where you can buy technology tools in the states that are used. And I've heard good things about them as well.
Darius: Okay. So you've got the infrastructure of your phone and your computer. Okay. The second thing is you need to have cloud storage. Okay. Right. You need to increase your cloud storage so when you start taking photographs to remind you of certain things and notes and so on, it doesn't suddenly stop you or you think, I won't take it because it's full and so on.
Erica: You need m. Right, I've got to spend two hours deleting photographs. Yeah, just don't put yourself through that. It's not worth it.
Darius: So basically what we're talking about is how do you increase your capacity? Okay. How do you increase your mental capacity? One way of doing that. Decent phone, decent computer and a decent cloud. Then you need to increase your mental capacity by taking notes. And you need to find one note taking system. Doesn't matter what it is, but it's got to be one system, one notebook that you just turn the page on and write it in the next page. Not five notebooks, not 20 notebooks and 30 post its and so on. One place for all your ideas and just replace it every time it gets filled. And that could be Apple Notes. I highly recommend Apple notes or OneNote are just as good.
Erica: GoodNotes is my personal favorite. I love it because yeah, it's all in one place, but it's as big as I want it to be and saved to all of my devices. Or I can print it out if I want to, or I can drag a PDF in there and then I can write on top of it. Yeah, but there are a bunch of different note taking apps. That's just my personal favorite.
Darius: So what we're doing is we're going through the structure. So right now I am, dealing with working memory by saying you need capacity to remember stuff long term. Short term memory, which is basically your devices, you then need to start taking notes of little things that come into your mind and put them into notes so that you can drop them from your mind, you can allow yourself to let go of.
Erica: You can drop them and then access them later because they're easy to find.
Darius: Yeah. So
00:35:00
Darius: let me just change my terminology. Instead of dropping them, you can put them down.
Erica: Right.
Darius: So it's like putting them down on the table, putting them down on the shelf. You're not just dropping them on the floor and they're smashing or getting muddled up.
Erica: And to, to play off of that idea. You know, there are times where I'm in the car and I'm like, oh, I have this great thought. My way of handling that because I'm driving the car is I just, I won't say it right now. Pay S I r I. Yeah. And then my phone responds and I'll just say send an email to Erica Warren's work and this is what it is. And then it's done. And then it will send it to my email. Or you can have it text you so that you can access that idea later. Or can you actually, have it? Ah, I guess you could actually put it directly into Apple notes, couldn't you?
Darius: Yes. You could say, hey, S, take a note and you, it will just do a note or you can ask it to open a note and add to it. You can ask it to set a reminder, you can ask it to alarm, you can ask it to put an event in your calendar. So these are all ways to go from that stage that you're talking about, which is to, is to go into the reminders phase of what I'm saying. So you need to take notes. And what you were talking about is you can just email yourself a note. And when you're sitting in front of the computer and you're in that space where you can organize something, you can take action.
Erica: Right.
Darius: So let's go through. We've gone from working memory, working memory notes to inhibitory control, inhibitory control reminders. You need to set yourself some reminders. You need a calendar, and you need to fall in love with your calendar as your book of promises. Book of promises to your friends, your coworkers and to yourself. Just put your promises in your calendar so that if you do blank out, if you are covered in fog, you can open up that book of promises and you go, what are my minimum commitments for today? And there are your minimum commitments. Set level two IS reminders have a to do list. It doesn't have to have every to do in it, but just what are the next most important things to do? Maybe the top 10, 20, 30 things to do in your reminders list and you choose three or four of them in the day that you're going to do. Or maybe 10 if you're a high achiever. I'll probably do three or four or whatever. But it depends on your capacity on the day. And you can learn a lot from people with dyslexia or adhd, because often people with dyslexia or ADHD have to adapt to the capacity they can sense they've got in that day. And likewise, women with hormones often need to adapt to the capacity they can sense they've got that day or that week in their cycle. And I have this sort of internal hierarchy. I go, right, number one is I'm going to do everything in my diary for today. And if I don't have any more capacity for that, then so be it. But I've kept my promises. Number two, I go down to reminders. And reminders have a special category in my mind, which are they are the next most important things of highest goals in my life. I'll do them next if I fulfill my reminders. I go down into my notes and my projects, where my projects are, find something that is important but not urgent that I've got to do, and enriches it. So there's this kind of tier. They're not all just mixed together. And, you know, all in my calendar together. Because some people just put everything in the calendar, and if it's a good day, they can get it done. If it's a bad day, nothing gets done because it overwhelms them.
Erica: Which takes me on to one of my thoughts, which is breaking tasks into steps. So if you're tackling big projects, break it into smaller manageable tasks. This will definitely help you with the overwhelm.
Darius: Absolutely.
Erica: and it just makes planning much easier. And then you can achieve. You can achieve.
Darius: I think it's kind of like suddenly becoming dyslexic, maybe.
Erica: I hate to associate the two for some reason because there's so much about dyslexia that's really a gift that. Yeah. So I have a little bit of a hard time with that. But I see the idea is that a lot of people with dyslexia have compromised working memories, for example, so it definitely can build some compassion.
Darius: Okay, let's go down that route. Because I think there's also a gift in this mental shift too. So what's happened is your brain is rewiring
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Darius: itself hormonally. It's being rewired for the next phase of your life, okay? And that has pros and cons, just as dyslexia has pros and cons, or adhd. Your brain is. Is shaped a certain way for certain functions and specialisms, okay? Now, I'm not an expert. I'm not a woman. You know, I'm just hypothesizing here. So, you know, just bear with me. I've spoken to some women who are saying that there's a case to be made that the menopause is there also for a purpose in terms of your mind, in that it shifts the way you think about life and the way that you. Your mental way of thinking, and you move into this sort of matriarchal phase, this phase where you're maybe a bit more. You think differently. And I think your brain is rewired for another phase of your life as well. So there's a case here to be made that it's like suddenly your brain is being remapped, okay? And, and it's kind of like, oh, my goodness, my brain is working completely differently than before. And you might think of it as a problem, but it's just like saying dyslexia is a problem. It's not a problem. It's a difference that put into certain situations can show up as a problem. Dropping the ball, but in other situations gives you a different perspective on things. And maybe exactly the same thing is happening in a menopausal mind.
Erica: Well, I can tell you that a word that comes to my mind is freedom. And I think I said this earlier that in some ways, I feel like reconnected with childhood again. In some ways, my drives have changed. There are certain things, drives that aren't as important as they used to be, you know, biological drives. So, yeah, it is kind of interesting. And when you said matriarchy, you know, my body liked that and said, oh, yes, that's kind of sweet. It received that. That felt that. Yeah. there is something to kind of. There's a certain wisdom, there's a certain settling that happens, but you have to get through the actual transition before you start to settle that. The transition itself feels very unsettling and very concerning, and you feel like, oh, my God, I'm aging. But it's really just a transition.
Darius: And so going, to that point, which took us off this track into this sort of cul-de-sac of what are the advantages of menopause is that it is like, suddenly becoming dyslexic or adhd. Because you start, I would suggest, okay, in that you're like, oh, my goodness, weirdly, I'm dropping the ball. I'm forgetting this. I'm doing that. But then maybe there's other aspects of your brain where you're thinking, I'm starting to think about things differently. I'm starting to see a bigger picture. And I think there's a remapping happening. And often when people start to experience dyslexia or ADHD or they become aware of it, they have to put in different strategies, and they have.
Erica: I will give you this. They have common symptoms. There are definitely some common symptoms.
Darius: Yes.
Erica: But knowing that menopause does not last and that a lot of those symptoms will abate, which is really nice to know.
Darius: Yes.
Erica: But. But as you're going through it, be gentle with yourself and prioritize sleep and let yourself explore some new tools that can support you through this time. That, as Darius was saying, they may actually take your abilities to a whole new level.
Darius: And if you're a guy, men are going through the menopause to. As a participant in the process, you know, if you're married to a woman, going through it. I remember when we were talking about this in the Dyslexia Explore podcast. Sorry to keep referencing it, but, you know, just to acknowledge the women who are sharing this. I think there's also unusual things that happen in terms of behavior in that it's kind of like suddenly I can see you're overwhelmed. The. The person's overwhelmed. They can't take something that they could deal with, a year ago or a couple of years ago. And it's like, weird. Why are you suddenly going blank on me or getting stressed out? And often when your working memory gets overfilled and you feel overwhelmed because your brain gets filled up with stuff and you're like, oh, my God, I know this is important, but now I'm. Because I'm going to drop the ball because it's so important. And,
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Darius: and. And then you start blaming yourself, and then you start getting into this kind of flow and, you get stressed, and then the other person's looking at you going, what's wrong? I was just telling you about this next thing that we were going to talk about. And then you.
Erica: Why are you overreacting? Why are you right? It's easy for men to just, what's wrong with you?
Darius: That's, ah.
Erica: Right.
Darius: And it.
Erica: And that doesn't help just. Just to throw it out there to all those men. The more compassionate and patient you can be, the easier it will be for the two of you to get through it.
Darius: Absolutely. And I think. I think you kind of need to sort of develop a shorthand like women need to develop a shorthand with the guys because we're not always as intuitive as you'd like us to be. That it's kind of like if you say, I just need to stop now, that there doesn't need to be a reason. I just need to stop talking about this now. Or that's enough for now. You know, my daughter's got this 20 something when she gets filled up because she's got this language with me now. She's like, dad, I really love what you're saying, but I'm full.
Erica: I'm full.
Darius: And that's just her respecting me, saying, dad, we've been talking about this for 20 minutes. I've got so much value out of it. I know there's more valuable stuff, but I need to stop now because I know internally, I'm just not going to listen to any more of it, you know? and out of respect, it's really respectful to me, it's not helpful to hear it sometimes because I'm like, I'm, on a roll. I've got some great stuff to give you, my daughter. Some truth bombs, whatever it is, we don't have that much time together, etc. But she's like, dad, don't deposit. Drop that bomb just yet. Hold it there for when I'm ready, you know? And it's a great shorthand. I'm full.
Erica: Yeah, it's nice. It's nice. And. Or hold that until I'm ready.
Darius: Yeah.
Erica: Because then it lets your partner know that it's not that you don't want to hear them, but you're just at capacity. That's really beautiful.
Darius: And another weird thing is light sensitivity. Okay. And. Uh-huh.
Erica: Yes. I never made that connection, but I have much more light sensitivity.
Darius: Yes. Yes.
Erica: Oh, yeah, we see there. And that's the thing, is there are so many symptoms, and we just tapped on the surface. And if you're really curious if something that you're experiencing could possibly be menopause, I welcome you to go to Amada Life or the Menopause Society and look to see if some of the things that you're experiencing are. Are listed there.
Darius: So let's just take the example of light sensitivity. Okay? M. Light sensitivity, again, is a common Trait with certain people with dyslexia and ADHD and so on as well. Sometimes they can be a bit light sensitive, or they could have visual stress when they're reading on the page. Arlene syndrome.
Erica: Etc.
Darius: okay, right. Sometimes you switch the light on in the room in the lounge. There's a lamp on, and then you switch the main light on, and your partner goes, oh, no, no, no, switch it off, please. It's just too bright. You know, you're like, what the hell? I need the light on. Come on. We're both living in this place and in the past, that would have been. Yeah, yeah, all right, no problem. But sometimes that light sensitivity can be like, no, no. It's really blinding me. I can't cope with it. And it's not all the time. Do you know what I mean? And m. So that's just an example of sometimes very little things can cause a big problem and seem like an exaggeration. But it. It's just an example of how the system is kind of spiking, you know, mentally.
Erica: Yeah, yeah.
Darius: Physically spiking. The hot flashes also, you know, light sensitivity, maybe, you know, mental dropouts, et cetera. You know, all of these things are just like bouncing up and everywhere. It might go the other way as well, where you hyper fixate and you get completely obsessed with a particular thing and so on. You know, it's not all the downside, there's also upside because there can be. It. It can go all over the shop, is basically what I'm saying. And as a partner, I think it's just useful to know and to develop a shorthand which is like, oh, are you feeling a bit sensitive to the light? And they're like, yeah, and. And then you. You start this shorthand where there are some things where it's just a personal preference. There are other things where it's like, actually, I really need this. And it's an accommodation, as it were.
Erica: Yeah, I need it, and I need it now. Yes, please, with.
Darius: No.
Erica: And if you don't give it to me, it could create an issue between us.
Darius: Yeah.
Erica: And Right, right, right.
Darius: It needs explained once. And then there needs to be like a marker. There needs to be some sort of.
Erica: Like
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Erica: a code so that you're not having to explain it every time, because that gets old very quickly too. Yeah, yeah. It could be a symbol, like the little where you put your hands, like a T. It's like a timeout or.
Darius: Like, I'm a word or I'm full.
Erica: I like that.
Darius: Yeah. Like I'm full or I'm feeling a bit light sensitive or something and you just say it and that's it. And you're like, fair enough, got it. You know, and you, you move on. So it's just useful as a partner to start being able to differentiate from what's a personal preference, where we can kind of negotiate on this a bit and what's a personal need. And not everything is a need. And it's not always obvious what the difference between a preference and a need is.
Erica: Right, well. And I think I'm going to pull us back around to one more strategy again I want to say one more time, which is how important it is to be physically active. And I think because just that increase of blood flow also sends an increase of blood flow to the brain. And eat a healthy diet because what feeds our body feeds our brain and that will also support neurogenesis, which is what we want. We want to grow new neurons and that will also help us to sustain our executive function. So more sleep and really nurture that body by giving it clean food. If you can avoid any kind of processed foods, anything that has added antibiotics or growth hormones or that have been sprayed with any pesticides, if you can go organic, it'll help you big time through the process.
Darius: Or we should state the obvious. Sugar.
Erica: Yeah, give up sugar. Not good.
Darius: I mean we should. And but the interesting thing is maybe not give up all sugar. You know, like maybe still eat chocolate, like 85% chocolate.
Erica: How about honey? How about honey's predigested so it functions differently in the body, but it still gives you that sweetness. So I mean I gave up sugar 25 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did. But I, I get my sweet tooth through honey. And you can get unsweetened chocolate very easily and just add honey to it. Or and there are some chocolates that are made with honey. Yeah, but that is, that's my own personal preference. But I, it's funny, I was just listening to a podcast on YouTube. Oh, I forget what his. The doctor's name is Lee, I think is his last name. I think it's Li he has a book on. It's basically how to avoid cancer altogether by what you eat. And he knows about foods that are anti angiogenetic so that they starve cancer. And that's the diet that I've been on for 20 years. I cured myself of cancer and colitis and, and I see a lot of my friends going down that path of Eating poor food and getting cancer. And it's just remarkable what a diet can do and. And what one thing he was saying just last night, in the YouTube video. I'll see if I can find it and put it in the show notes. Is that sugar? He said that there's now research that shows that if you eat large amounts of sugar and even processed foods, but mostly sugar, that it can reduce your longevity up to 15 years.
Darius: Wow.
Erica: So, yeah, I gave up starch, sugar, processed foods, preservatives, all of that stuff. And I feel younger now, 30 years later than I did in my 30s, I think.
Darius: Yeah. And I think the bigger picture in all of this is at this stage of life, menopausal stage, and with men, you know, 50s, 40s, 50s, the smaller things make a big difference. Now in the past, oh, I can get away with eating a bit of sugar and carbohydrates and so on. Carbohydrates are basically sugar in another form; you know.
Erica: Right. Or even just moderation. But a lot of people live on it.
Darius: Yeah. Ah. And then shifting. I've noticed that over the last nine months, when I've come off carbohydrates and sugar, that it's made a huge difference to the stability of my mind and life and so on. Now, obviously, when I was younger, it would have made some difference, but now that I'm older, it makes a bigger difference because there's this amplification effect towards the downside and towards the upside of these differences. Executive function strategies are amplified because, you know, you need them more. You probably got more responsibilities in the workplace
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Darius: and life and so on. so if you put them in place, they make a big difference. Food strategies, hormonal strategies, mental strategies, all of these things actually have a bigger payoff in many ways.
Erica: Yeah. As we get older, it's, very important that we exercise our bodies as much as possible as we age, because that definitely slows down the aging process.
Darius: So, Erica, great podcast. Anything else on your list that you wanted to talk about?
Erica: No, I think we're good. I think we're good. This was very informative. I hope it helps a lot of people out there that are struggling through this. I'm going to say unrecognized transition, because it's largely, at least I know in my culture, it's largely unrecognized, and many women kind of go through it alone. And you're not alone. And there is. If you do a search, there's quite a lot of support out there for you. So thanks for listening.
Darius: Thanks for bringing it up, Erica. Till next time.
Erica: Till next time. Thank you for joining our conversation here at the Personal Brain Trainer podcast. This is Dr. Erica Warren and Darius Namdaran.
Darius: Check out the show notes for links to resources mentioned in the podcast. And please leave us a review and share us on social media. Until next time. Bye.
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